Called, But for What?

Cathlin Baker

“Called, But for What?

The Rev. Cathlin Baker

February 7, 2010

Isaiah 6:1-8; Luke 5:1-11

Some of you have heard me reflect on my call story before. And when you are in my line of work, it’s obviously important to have some clarity about your sense of calling. But the reality is that we are all being called throughout our life, and so we each need to cultivate the ability to discern what God is calling us to do and who God is calling us to be.  Such discernment is a spiritual practice. Even for the faithful, the belief that God is present and at work in your life, is a spiritual muscle to be trained. And the ability to hear God’s call is another part of that training. From my experience, God operates in different ways in different people’s lives, so that each person needs to become acquainted with what God is saying to you and how God is speaking to you. Specifically to you.

When I first arrived at Union Theological Seminary in 1994 at the age of 26, I was surprised to find my seminary class mates swapping call stories, right alongside other mundane facts such as where they grew up, where they went to college and what denomination they were affiliated with. Simply ask the question, “why seminary?” and you would hear some miraculous story about how God spoke to them, or this or that vision. I had many mixed feelings about my new milieu. At first I was impressed. Wow, I thought to myself, this is quite a crew I’m running with here. Then, I felt a little out of place, like I didn’t belong, because I didn’t have one of these colorful stories. And then, I was a little suspicious, how could they swap such meaningful experiences so glibly? Wasn’t this sacred stuff?

After a while, I realized that I was not alone. There were many others at seminary who lacked call stories of biblical proportion. Still, we knew for sure that we were called to be at seminary, in that everything about being there felt right. I, myself, knew it was exactly the right place to be and that somehow I had prepared my whole life to be there. But I could not recount a story like Isaiah’s. Where were my seraphim and cherubim?

And while I felt called to be at Seminary, did I know what God was calling me to do next? Absolutely not. Indeed, it would be three more years before I had an encounter with God that felt like a calling that brought absolute clarity about the ministry.

And so it seems, that there are little calls happening all the time in our life, the kind of calls that encourage and nudge you in a particular direction. And then sometimes there are big calls. The little calls are something we can nurture an attentiveness to, but the big calls surprise us and seem to arrive from outside of us. Let’s consider this notion of big and little calls in light of today’s texts.

One might consider Isaiah’s call story pretty big and lavish. A vision of the Lord sitting on a throne with singing seraphs in attendance seems gripping enough. But then the walls shake and the house fills with smoke. Isaiah cannot help but think the world is ending. He feels unworthy in the face of such wonder. And then, one of the angels flies towards him with a hot coal in a pair of tongs, touching Isaiah’s mouth with it.  The angel offers him a new beginning saying, “Now that this has touched your lips, your guilt has departed and your sin is blotted out.” When the Lord then asks, “whom shall I send?”, sort of like, who is going to be on my team? Isaiah is quick to follow. Like an eager recruit, he cries, “pick me, pick me.” I think most seminary students would have a hard time topping that one!

Now Simon’s call story may be one that most of us can relate to more closely. It, too, is miraculous in its own way, but it is so realistic and it rings true with authenticity. Simon, a fisherman, had been working hard all night long, and was now at the lakeshore washing out his nets. Jesus had been teaching at the lakeshore and the crowd had grown so large and was pressing into him, so he got into Simon’s empty boat for protection. Jesus asks Simon to row him out a little bit from the shore and Jesus sits down and begins to teach from Simon’s boat. Jesus then finishes teaching the crowds and turns his attention solely on Simon.

Jesus asks Simon to put out into the deep water and attempt to catch some fish again. Simon tries to be respectful, calling Jesus “Master,” and agrees to do so. But one can sense that Simon is a little annoyed. Like, “I’ve done that, tried that, but I’ll entertain you this time Mr. Carpenter.”  But miraculous things begin to happen. The nets grow so full of fish they begin to break. They call the other boats to come help and all the boats become so full of fish they begin to sink. And then, our fisherman Simon, is now called Simon Peter, and we begin to realize that he is the one who will become the great disciple, Peter. And Simon Peter, like Isaiah, feels unworthy in Jesus’s presence, for he doubted that such abundance was possible. This is net-breaking, boat-sinking abundance. Never will they believe in scarcity again.

In Eugene Peterson’s translation of this text, Simon Peter says, “I’m a sinner and can’t handle this holiness. Leave me to myself.” But Jesus does not leave him alone, instead he asks Simon Peter to join him. Jesus asks Simon Peter to leave behind his livelihood and instead follow him. Simon Peter leaves behind everything familiar and embarks on a whole new path. He will now be a fisher of people. And indeed, he becomes one of the great teachers and leaders of the early church.

What are we to make of Simon Peter’s story for our own lives? Can we allow for the possibility that we might encounter God in our everyday lives, at work, at the grocery store, at the bank? Both of today’s readings allow for very human responses to God’s call – fear, resistance, insecurity. But still, Isaiah and Simon Peter choose to follow.

In her blog, Jan Richardson writes, “Fish weren’t the only catch of the day; Simon and his companions were hooked. Captivated. Called. And that’s what miracles are meant to do: they meet us at our point of need, but they do not leave us there. They call us to move from being recipients to being participants, to share in the ways that God pours out Godself for the life of the community and the healing of the world.”

Might we allow ourselves to be open to the possibility that God may be working a miracle among us at any moment? And will we allow ourselves, like Peter, to be swept up, recognizing that we too can free ourselves and follow the abundant path? Perhaps by recognizing the little calls in our lives, God’s loving nudges here and there, we can cultivate a relationship with God so that we are ready when the big one comes. For we are all called. Fearful and unsure, but still called. The bigger question, is called for what. This we will not know, but God asks us to be ready to follow.